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oh little nikki birdfoot

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gaywad [ ]
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lock down. suckas.
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by sydni

jonathan is sleeping. it is his birthday. he was born in houston at night. he looks like he is floating in the ocean. all of his bed linens are blue, but not nearly as blue as his eyes. his eyes are conch shells. i hear waves. he is twenty-three years old today. i am making him a cake. sprinkle icing, and candles. i'm going to take his polaroid. i would take his polaroid right now, but it is at my house. my house is one point four miles from his apartment. there are trees and a dog and polaroids of jonathan there. it is nice. everything is nice.
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i finished my first painting/collage in over a year. crazy.
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my stomach hurts.
my shoulders hurt.
everything hurts.
ah living!
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okay, i'm only going to say this once
in a week this lj will be gone forever
if you still want to be friends, add dearbrains
end of story
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this is my request for leave of absence

"We all waved as his boat
sailed away. The old people
cried. The children were
restless. "

-Richard Brautigan, "Good Luck Captain Martin"
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[ mood | flu and/or uri ]

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we never change
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march 15th deadlines:vassar, mt. holyoke, rice
scad stuff is two weeks late
i'm supposed to be writing all this crap for them and i just can't bring myself to do it
i have no idea how to write about any of the ideas that i've had with conviction or eloquence
part of me just says to give up and go to twu or unt
another part of me knows that i won't be as happy at either of those places as i would be at all the schools i have fanticized about
i feel like i'm about to go to a funeral

edit: this is a hasty decision on my part,but i think i should wait to transfer in the spring. i think i would be better prepared to make a decision about what i want and who i want to be after i deal with some of the issues that i'm having.
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eighty-six degrees, it's officially spring to me [ ]
[ mood | chipper ]

apparently i'm a redhead,
i haven't messed with my hair since last summer and it keeps growing in red
kelly(who is also a redhead) and i had a really good laugh at my epiphany today

i also was told that i look like hermione. this made my day. seriously!

i actually went to class and that made me proud, however instead of developing/processing today i just drove out to the place the house where i was conceived and cradled in once stood(it burned down about 5 years ago)and took some self portraits and such. i am steadily working on my artist's statement in my head and i think i'm about ready to send everything off come monday.
Sarah Anne comes home this weekend and that makes me happy. on saturday, i'm going to austin to see mates of states. i wish i was seeing the horrorpops tonight. wednesday(crosses fingers,) i should be seeing metric with islands in dallas, friday, i'll be seeing ted leo and the pharmacists, and on sunday, say anything. this week is jam packed. literally. plus Sarah Anne will be growing one year older and that will be a throw down for sure.

nolan i flew his superman kite today. i tangled up the string,but it was super shitty string anyways. i took lots of photos. we ate yogurt. i bought a pair of vans slip ons for 3.00, but they are two sizes too big so i'm going to stencil them and give them to Sarah Anne. I got a sweet coat for $5.50 and a little ceramic whale with it's mouth open that i'm going to keep my jewelry in. I made copies for transfer stuff. I felt happy for the first time in days.

i wish that my scanner worked. instead of scanning polaroids, i'm just going to go play age of empires ii.

Get your own spectral analysis from Area 23®

this is weird
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well i thought about the army
dad said, son you're f**king high
and i thought, yeah there's a first for everything
so i took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand spent in bed
i thought about the army
i dropped out and joined a band instead

grew a moustache and a mullet
got a job at chic-fil-a
citing artistic differences
the band broke up in may
and in june reformed without me
and they'd got a different name
i nuked another grandma's apple pie
and hung my head in shame

i've been thinking a lot today
i've been thinking a lot today

oh, i think i'll write a screenplay
oh, i think i'll take it to LA
oh, i think i'll get it done yesterday

in this time of introspection
on the eve of my election
i say to my reflection
god, please spare me more rejection
'cause my peers, they criticize me
and my ex-wives all despise me
try to put it all behind me
but my redneck past is nipping at my heels
i've been thinking a lot today
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[ mood | sweeps takes ]

i have some missions for monday:
1)buy architecture in helsinki's album
2) clean my room
3) finish my artists statement
4) fix the shit situation with my slides
5) finish my vassar and mt. holyoke applications
6)send off my fasfa
7)go to class and shit

the electric six were amazing. i danced so hard i broke my shirt and thought i might throw up(i didn't) and then i danced some more. i even danced at the gas station and the ihop. she wants revenge was okay,i guess. i couldn't really see them so i gave up and went back to bothering tre and john. vanilla lattes are good for not falling asleep on the way home. i went to see harry potter and gof for the 4th time. i cried again. i bought a really neat kite and had some icecream. i also searched for two hours for flinstones push up pops. i'm going to buy a desk at target tomorrow. my throat is sore and i'm gonna go sleep now. yeah.

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[ mood | lithium and bed sheets ]

i came home to take a nap
under the covers i took a walk in the
fifty degree weather with clouds for miles
seasonal affective disorder in the mail
to the letter, things could honestly be better than better because
when it rains like this it usually hails

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i am terrified to leave my house
i am scared of tap water
i am petrified of the dark
i am afraid of spontaneous combustion
i am ever afraid
a fray ed

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my slides still aren't here
and my granddad's cancer is nearing the end, of him
i want to kill something
real bad-like
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fight or flight [ ]
all i care about at this moment is scad
i keep listening to their student radio via itunes
it's near the ocean and is the closest i can get to a liberal arts education with a very good art program
it's near the ocean and only a few hours from atlanta, so i can still have my music
in november, sometimes on my birthday, they have a national kite festival
it's funny how in the final hours, what you really want comes more clear.

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save for a few completed photograms that i have to scan in on monday
this is what i have decided to send to colleges
what do you guys think?
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[ mood | hungry ]

last night i couldn't sleep so i watched lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events, it was still pretty good and amazing looking
i also knit my mom a pot holder aka i mess up on part of a scarf
i finished my brag sheet and i am quite pleased with it
i never knew i did so much crap until i had to put it all down on paper
i am going to see walk the line with devin tonight, he hasn't seen it yet and i don't mind seeing it for a third time
i am really hungry. hmmm.
and it's nice and rainy
i shot some self portraits that i'm working on tomorrow and i am excited about them
they have to do with loss and intimate feelings about people/things


letters of rec.

process film
make prints
pretty packaging

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HELP! [ ]
i submitted my application to savannah college of art and design and san francisco art institute
and i'm almost ready to send in my ap to school of visual art
but, i don't know what to put in my portfolio
i need to have at least 15-20 photography pieces and i am a horrible judge of my work because i am ultimately self-defeating
it would be of great help if you would leave me a comment telling me about your 5 favorite pieces (photo or art) that i have posted to my flickr
please please please do this for me
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because it's the first valentine's day since i was 13 that i haven't had a valentine,
and i'm really happy about it(truth!,)
i got panda express and came home to paint and play on the internet
i am behind on two photography assignments and have no idea what to do for them
nevin came to visit waco was cold and everything was closed
i feel really dumb

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[ mood | i wish that it was raining ]

i don't want to go to work or go buy photo supplies
i just want to go home and paint
and watch wes anderson movies
but good thing is that nevin is supposedly coming to visit me tonight
i need models for a series of conceptual portraits i want to do
email me if you want to be part of it
i am willing to make a trip if more than two people want to do it in a place outside of waco(must be in texas,der)

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i can't think in concrete images for some reason today
people should leave me three images that they love or inspire them
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eeeeeeeeekkkkk [ ]
[ mood | excited ]

i made a 95 on my abnormal psych test
take that no sleep and no studying!
judy jetson started working again!
and i've finally started loading all of my cds onto her
she's going to be so full =\
and i got sucked into writing/illustration a newspaper feature on the irs now wanting online rpg accounts to accounted for on tax forms
sucks for you guys who play wow and starwars(i play this, but i'm not filing taxes because i'm too poor)
my tivo is the dorkiest thing ever
gilmore girls, 25 or so history channel(i watched this really awesome thing on the madness of henry the eighth) and discovery health(an interesting program on stone babies/ectopic pregnancy) and national geographic things, project runway(oh i was so sad about nick getting cut! i hope santino gets kicked in the nuts by the judges.,) what not to wear, and made(i can't help it! i've been addicted since the beginning!)
i'm heading off to denton now and ready to get my sleep and then my science on

gogi, i'm sorry if i'm one of the only 5 or so people who update on your friends list, if i'm not stop scowling at the screen and enjoy the interweb!

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