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by sydni

jonathan is sleeping. it is his birthday. he was born in houston at night. he looks like he is floating in the ocean. all of his bed linens are blue, but not nearly as blue as his eyes. his eyes are conch shells. i hear waves. he is twenty-three years old today. i am making him a cake. sprinkle icing, and candles. i'm going to take his polaroid. i would take his polaroid right now, but it is at my house. my house is one point four miles from his apartment. there are trees and a dog and polaroids of jonathan there. it is nice. everything is nice.
clever sophie

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this is my request for leave of absence

"We all waved as his boat
sailed away. The old people
cried. The children were
restless. "

-Richard Brautigan, "Good Luck Captain Martin"

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march 15th deadlines:vassar, mt. holyoke, rice
scad stuff is two weeks late
i'm supposed to be writing all this crap for them and i just can't bring myself to do it
i have no idea how to write about any of the ideas that i've had with conviction or eloquence
part of me just says to give up and go to twu or unt
another part of me knows that i won't be as happy at either of those places as i would be at all the schools i have fanticized about
i feel like i'm about to go to a funeral

edit: this is a hasty decision on my part,but i think i should wait to transfer in the spring. i think i would be better prepared to make a decision about what i want and who i want to be after i deal with some of the issues that i'm having.
  • Current Music
    jenny lewis and the watson twins-melt your heart

eighty-six degrees, it's officially spring to me

apparently i'm a redhead,
i haven't messed with my hair since last summer and it keeps growing in red
kelly(who is also a redhead) and i had a really good laugh at my epiphany today

i also was told that i look like hermione. this made my day. seriously!

i actually went to class and that made me proud, however instead of developing/processing today i just drove out to the place the house where i was conceived and cradled in once stood(it burned down about 5 years ago)and took some self portraits and such. i am steadily working on my artist's statement in my head and i think i'm about ready to send everything off come monday.
Sarah Anne comes home this weekend and that makes me happy. on saturday, i'm going to austin to see mates of states. i wish i was seeing the horrorpops tonight. wednesday(crosses fingers,) i should be seeing metric with islands in dallas, friday, i'll be seeing ted leo and the pharmacists, and on sunday, say anything. this week is jam packed. literally. plus Sarah Anne will be growing one year older and that will be a throw down for sure.

nolan i flew his superman kite today. i tangled up the string,but it was super shitty string anyways. i took lots of photos. we ate yogurt. i bought a pair of vans slip ons for 3.00, but they are two sizes too big so i'm going to stencil them and give them to Sarah Anne. I got a sweet coat for $5.50 and a little ceramic whale with it's mouth open that i'm going to keep my jewelry in. I made copies for transfer stuff. I felt happy for the first time in days.

i wish that my scanner worked. instead of scanning polaroids, i'm just going to go play age of empires ii.

Get your own spectral analysis from Area 23®

this is weird
  • Current Music
    loxsly-card gauge

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well i thought about the army
dad said, son you're f**king high
and i thought, yeah there's a first for everything
so i took my old man's advice
three sad semesters
it was only fifteen grand spent in bed
i thought about the army
i dropped out and joined a band instead

grew a moustache and a mullet
got a job at chic-fil-a
citing artistic differences
the band broke up in may
and in june reformed without me
and they'd got a different name
i nuked another grandma's apple pie
and hung my head in shame

i've been thinking a lot today
i've been thinking a lot today

oh, i think i'll write a screenplay
oh, i think i'll take it to LA
oh, i think i'll get it done yesterday

in this time of introspection
on the eve of my election
i say to my reflection
god, please spare me more rejection
'cause my peers, they criticize me
and my ex-wives all despise me
try to put it all behind me
but my redneck past is nipping at my heels
i've been thinking a lot today
  • Current Music
    the unicorns-jellybones